I see people day in and day out doing their jobs and daily errands just to get it over and done with, just to please someone else; be it your boss, a spouse, a colleague, a relative or a friend. One thing I do all the time is observe people, my husband taught me how to look into peoples eyes and see what they are feeling, I’m not a pro like him, but I like to think that I’m slowly but surely figuring this thing out. You can tell a lot about a person by looking into their eyes. You can see love, hate, joy, sorrow, jealousy, lust and so many other things. You can tell when someone is not interested in something or if they are doing something just because they must and that is something that really gets to me.

When I first met my husband, he told me something quite significant, keep in mind I was young and very naïve, and I had a lot of growing up to do, but he told me that if you are going to do something, do it with all your heart or don’t do it at all. You see I used to make coffee for my parents because I felt obliged too. I used to clean up after everyone because I felt it was my duty and I had to do it. I felt that I was obligated to cook for my family. Everything changed in me when my husband told me this. At first it hurt because you don’t want anyone to tell you that you are doing something wrong, but if you take that advice and choose to learn, grow and not get offended by it, something begins to change in your life, you start to appreciate the small things that you get to do for people. You start to live with a heart of gratitude.

My husband and I have been serving the Lord together since we have known each other. We have been to quite a few churches looking for a place to call base. My husband used to be the worship leader at one church, I remember speaking to him and asking him one day why they weren’t playing and he told me that the worship teams heart wasn’t right, that they were not playing for Jesus and they were playing for themselves, he cancelled worship for a couple of weeks to re-strategize the worship.


I remember sitting at a meeting once and the guy who is a very influential man, who was leading this meeting told us that we need to fake it until we make it. Majority of the people at that meeting agreed with him, also very influential people and my hubby and I sat there, dead quiet. Now tell me, why do something at all for someone if you don’t want to do it. It’s worse for people to see you faking it, what does that say about you?

God teaches us this in the bible, right in the beginning with Cain and Abel, Genesis 4 vs 1-6 says “Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, “With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.” 2 Later she gave birth to his brother Abel. Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. 3 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. 4 And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, 5 but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So, Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.6 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

When I read this bible verse, it shows me that Cain’s heart was not right, he gave God an offering because he had to, he put no thought into it. Abel on the other hand, gave God the best of the best, from his first flock. No sloppy second hands at all. He gave to God with the right heart. He wanted to do it.

Matthew 6 vs 21 “For where your treasure is there you heart will also be.”

Proverbs 4 vs 23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Psalm 26 vs 2 “Test me, LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind;”

So here is where I want to encourage you:

If you have to help someone out in their time of need and you really don’t want to, put yourself in their shoes, how would you feel if you were in need and you could see that people felt obligated to help you?

There’s a quote that says “Before you say something, stop and think how you‘d feel if someone said it to you”

Adjust your way of thinking and ask Jesus to help you if you battle here. Be grateful that you can help others, be grateful for the blessings in your life and help as many people as you can, not because you have to, but because you want to.

Lastly if you feel obliged to do something, rather don’t do it at all and pray that God will help you to do things with the right heart.

Remember God sees your heart, your motives and he knows what you’re thinking before you even think it.

All I want one day is, when I get to heaven, for Jesus to give me the most fulfilling hug ever and say, well done my good and faithful servant, you made me proud and I pray this for all my brothers and sisters out there.