My husband and I dated for over a decade before we got married. I loved him to bits and was madly in love with him. I promised myself that I would never hurt him and that I would look after him. His mom and I had a good relationship, even before we got married. After the wedding, when we returned from our honeymoon, it was as if reality had hit me hard in the face. I was married and living under someone else’s roof. (I moved in with my husband and his mom). I now had to abide by someone else’s rules even though I was married. Mother in-law started treating me differently, why, I couldn’t understand. She would only wash their washing but leave mine behind, where, when I would do washing and ironing I’d do everyone’s. I used to work in the hotel industry at that time which was very exhausting; when it was an off day for me she would wake me up from my nap telling me that I need to make supper.
I had no privacy and felt that I was never married but only just dating her son. She would walk into our room whenever it suited her and just demand her son to take her to church or wherever she needed to be. I eventually built up the courage to speak to my husband about it. I even asked him to put up a wendy house in the yard for us to be on our own, so we can have our own space, but nothing ever became of it. At one stage he thought I was having an affair. I felt hurt and despondent, thinking if getting married was ever the right thing for me to do. It made me bitter. At a stage, it became so bad that I didn’t want to be home, I had nobody else to talk to, so I figured being at work the whole day was the best option for me at that time.
At work there was a new guy (*Kevin) that started, far older than me. He was in his late 30’s, married with two kids and I was in my late twenties. I hated his guts couldn’t stand him. Eventually we were put together to run events at work. We initially became friends (This was where the enemy took advantage). He started buying me things, always keeping me something nice. Then one day he decided to kiss me. I slapped him and walked away. How do I tell someone what happened? How do I tell my husband what happened? I felt I was in the wrong and just never said anything to anyone. I sent this man e-mails and messages to leave me alone, but he said he wouldn’t and that he is not going to lose his job again. Little did I know that this is the kind of thing that he did wherever he worked. I felt I had nobody to talk to and I didn’t want to lose my job, so I just kept quiet and went along with it.
I started hating myself; I pushed everyone that could possibly love me away, especially my husband. It killed me as there was so many times I wanted to tell my husband but I just didn’t know how to. I started smoking. Told my husband that I didn’t want him taking me to work or fetching me so that this guy from work can bring me home so that I could spend more time with him. I started losing weight, everyone at work started asking questions but I was so deep into sin that it didn’t even bother me. I asked my husband for a divorce and it broke him. I felt nothing; even though deep down inside I knew that what I was doing was wrong. All I cared about is what I wanted. I was enjoying all worldly things, things that were not from GOD.
The truth eventually came out that I was having an affair. Everyone knew. It still didn’t bother me about what people said. I moved out and filed for a divorce. It was clear that I had made my mind up, that I was going to leave my husband. I even sold my wedding ring as I wanted nothing to remind me of him. This guy that I was seeing was so abusive, he would swear at me, sometimes grab me or shake me. Then just apologize as if nothing happened. In between all these happenings, GOD spoke to me. I used to sit in my room and hear him say to me, “What are you doing? Is this the kind of life you want to live?”. I would cry myself to sleep. The sheriff couldn’t get hold of my husband which means I had to go and pay them again to serve him. I did exactly that even though I knew I didn’t want to divorce him. *Kevin’s wife kept calling me, telling me that it’s not the first time he cheated on her, told me he is used to doing it especially with the younger girls.
Eventually I packed this guy’s clothes and told him to leave and get out of my life. He refused and asked me if he could stay, saying that he would change. I was so gullible that I fell into his trap again and gave him another chance. I promised him that if he messed up again he would have to leave. It was not long and the abuse started again. I prayed and asked GOD for strength. I packed his stuff and left it outside the door, by the time he came home he found his things outside and begged me to let him in, but I was strong enough to let him go. I just couldn’t handle being treated that way anymore.
I had left my old job to get away from *Kevin. I started a new job somewhere else. I decided to start over. Being alone made me realise all the mistakes I made and how I gave into the enemy. I realised how much I still love my husband and how much I miss him. We started chatting again like we did when we were still dating. We also went on dates for coffee, talking about everything that had happened. He realised that he had also made mistakes and realised that he should never have left. We started going to church and went on a marriage retreat, this really helped us a lot, as if we found each other again. It was not easy facing his family again, but we were in it together. I am truly grateful to my husband for always believing in me and for giving me a second chance. He stood by me always and we faced everything together. GOD really came through for us. Today we are happily married for 8 years, blessed with twin girls. We are both saved and serving the Lord together. My mother-in-law and I are like best friends now.
If I can leave you any advice today, I would say that what GOD did for me, He can also do for you. Just believe in Him, pray and trust God and His plan for your life. You are not alone, GOD is always there. It’s not what we want or where we want to be, it’s what GOD wants and where He wants us to be. I wanted to divorce my husband twice, but GOD wanted something else for us.
*Name/s have been randomly changed to protect the individual and those around him/her.
When I read this testimony, it showed me how the enemy will try and attack, but it also showed me that God has a plan for your life. It showed me the power of forgiveness and how God can restore anything!! It doesn’t matter how deep down in the darkness you think you have drifted, there is always hope, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel if you are brave and courageous enough to change your life around. Most importantly, if you just give Jesus the chance to work in your life…HE WILL!!!