So lately I have been down and out. I have tried so hard not to let my family or friends see that I’m going through a tough time. I remember sitting here last week trying to type out a blog to share with you all and I hit a blank, so naturally what I normally do is a try and take things into my own hands instead of asking God to help, the result, well there is a reason I haven’t shared it. Don’t get me wrong, it was a good read, but I was harsh, and I didn’t take into consideration the feelings of others, especially those who support me with Simply Recognize without a blink of an eye. I always try to practice what I preach, and I try to encourage others to do the same.
So, I trashed it and did what I was supposed to do the first time, I asked God to help and lead me. Let me tell you something, if you pray for patience, God will give you a reason to be patient to teach you patience. If you pray for strength God will give you a reason to be strong. Well I prayed for God to help me with this blog, so he put an obstacle before me…looking back now I see the bigger picture and I’m glad I handled it the way I did instead of the way I ‘felt’ like handling it….and Voilà, my inspiration born.
This is how it went down. I’m quite an aggressive person, when I’m faced with a rude or arrogant person my temper normally flares, I won’t lie to you, but I seriously battle in this department. I have been trusting in God to help me to change this but sometimes I feel like God isn’t listening. I’m sure you have felt this way some time or another in your life. I have a brother and if you know me well you will know that we clash, we always have, I think even when my mom was pregnant with him we had issues (just kidding- but I’m sure you get the picture). My brother has a heart of gold and he is the most loving person. He is just like my parents, he will help almost anyone, even if it means him going without. The problem is we are both very opinionated people and thus the reason for our clashing.
Lately he has been going through a tough time too and just like me he also tries to hide it from those he loves and cares about. Looking back, I feel terrible for giving him a hard time because I always tell everyone that you never know what people are going through, give people the benefit of the doubt, don’t just jump to conclusions, however I can’t even do this with my own brother. I have felt heart break before, but not like last week. I remember lying in bed late at night thinking of what I was going to say that could hurt him. I was super angry and being the female that I am, I planned out every conversation and possible conversation that we could possibly have. Then it struck me, this is when God spoke to me. He is your brother, tell him what he needs to hear and not what you want him to hear. Don’t fight. I like to think I handled this situation much differently than old me would’ve. I want to tell you something, something shifted with our relationship. My brother isn’t one to open up, but he did, I’m not one to open up, but I did. I feel so much closer to him now than I have ever before. I understand what’s happening in his life and for once I don’t want to fight when he says something. I don’t want to have a quick comeback on board awaiting immediate deployment.
But wait there’s more. There is a certain individual in my life that I love, and boy oh boy can we argue, over stupid things. God was testing me last night with this, I’m sure He is trying to make me a pro in this department because my blood was boiling, tremendously. I remember typing out a message about exactly how I felt and then I read it and I was shocked, so before sending it I deleted the whole message and left it in God’s hands. There’s this quote that I love, “before you say something, think how you would feel if someone said that to you”. I’m trying to change, I asked God for help in this department and I’m going to try my utmost best not to fail and trust God when he throws these obstacles in my path.
I just want to tell you that if you’re a fighter like me (I’m trying to change, God is working in my life), you don’t always have to have the last say, you don’t always have to have a comeback, you don’t always have to have an opinion, sometimes you just need to keep quiet and trust that God is teaching you something, something that’s bigger than you that affects more people than you know, something that could have a huge ripple effect if you just thought instead of reacting.
Hide this verse in your heart. “James 1:19-27 New Living Translation (NLT)
Listening and Doing
19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger[a] does not produce the righteousness[b] God desires. 21 So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. 22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. 23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. 24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. 25 But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. 26 If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. 27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.”
I know its long, but read it and live it, you won’t regret it.
To my brother, I love you with all my heart and I’m always here for you, no matter what, you will always have your sister to confide